We have built a selfish society where the ‘me’ is the focus of our daily lives. Nothing matters more than us and our egos. People are constantly feeding their egos to disguise their insecurities.
We’re losing the ‘art’ of listening as a human being quality. And listening meaning not just ‘hearing’ the words the other person is saying but listening, understanding and empathising without being judgmental. We have made the excuse of not having time for that process. People have chosen not to pay attention. Judging is easier and faster.
Nowadays selfishness is the norm, helpful and courageous acts are rare and scarce. People are hardly interested in anything other than what can affect them directly. And they only like to talk about themselves. They only talk about what they are doing, what they have done and what have achieved. They aren’t interested in other people’s stories. Instead, they feel jealous of other people’s achievements if they listen too much of it!
During this ‘fast paced’ life, people have little or no time for anyone else, including friends, partners, family… Everyone is very busy, as if being busy all the time was a good thing. They feel important when they’re constantly busy. If they aren’t busy, they aren’t worth it. We’ve built the busy society where we are stigmatized for taking time off. And while staying in that ‘super busy mode’, time slips away through their fingertips. They have forgotten what really matters. Their brain is switched to autopilot, filled with innumerable and sometimes senseless and repetitive tasks to make them feel as if they were accomplishing something important. They are surrounded by noise.
To continue adding more ‘noise’ to their lives and further distancing themselves from reality, they want to show the world how great and happy they are all the time. Nothing ‘normal’ or ‘bad’ seems to happen to them. It’s forbidden to show negative or mundane experiences. The pursuit of happiness and greatness is relentless. They feel the ‘urge’ to portrait their life constantly in social media. Celebrations, homes, cars, presents, last night dinner meal…, so they’re accepted and proving constantly how great and busy their lives are. It’s a competition about who’s the greatest of all. It’s a competition about how many ‘likes’ I can get. Social media can disrupt greatly our lives and can be another distraction that builds noise within our personal space. It doesn’t allow us to focus on what really matters in life. It steals reality. It’s a parallel world where people are pretending.
As people switch off their listening skills, they transfer to a ‘judgemental’ mode where they do think they know better about everything than anyone else. They’re constantly judging and giving advice to everyone, and they are never wrong. Advice that can be potentially dangerous and overrated. Advice that comes from the ego.
Listening is a much more helpful and powerful tool than advising, but difficult to observe and put into practice. When we truly listen and acknowledge what the other person wants to express and how they are feeling, we are empowering them to take a decision of their own, act upon and being accountable for it. Or they simply may feel better for talking to someone without being judged. We all must take our own decisions based on our knowledge, experiences, beliefs and instincts. Then we need to be responsible for it. No one else knows better than we do when the time comes to make our own decisions.
Let’s think about this. When was the last time that you just listened to another person, without interrupting, without judging, but were interested and appreciated what they had to say? When was the last time that you ‘switched off’ all the ‘noise’ around you and listened with all your attention to what another person had to say? When was the last time to you empathised with someone else and ‘walked’ in their shoes?
Listening is about switching on the brain and concentrate on another’s person words, concerns, experiences…., and enjoy the process while providing comfort and confidence to the person who’s talking.
Make someone great today just by listening to what they have to say!
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